BIKINI PIE FIGHT
[BRITTANY and QUINCY are both wearing bikinis.]
BRITTANY: So Quincy, what's the title of this last skit?
QUINCY: [looking at piece of paper] "Bikini Pie Fight."
B: Aw c'mon, enough is enough! I have my standards, you know.
Q: My feelings exactly. This isn't something I want my name associated with.
B: Besides, they can't MAKE us do anything!
Q: Right! United front!
B: United front! I'll tell the producer right now. [She exits.]
[After a few seconds, BRITTANY returns holding a pie.]
Q: Um, Brittany Where'd you get that?
B: The producer gave it to me. Said I could do whatever I want with it. [She eyeballs QUINCY with an evil grin.]
Q: Now hang on What happened to a "united front"?
B: [thinks for a second] You're right. I couldn't do that to my best friend. [She puts her arm around her.]
Q: Well thank you, I'm glad you feel that [BRITTANY pies her.] Way.
B: I'm sorry Quincy, that was just WAY too funny. You understand.
Q: [clearing herself] Of course. Completely. Oh Brittany? [BRITTANY turns back and gets pied.]
Q: Now THAT was funny.
B: You want funny? I'll show you funny! [pies her]
Q: Not bad
but allow me to
retort! [pies her]
[Scene turns into an all-out pie fight, with BRITTANY and QUINCY exchanging
many pies. They can improvise lines of dialogue between hits.]
B: I think the producer knows us too well.
Q: Yep. I just hope there's still hot water left in the showers [gets watered]
B: Hey, not a bad idea! [throws out her hands] Water! [Buckets of water are thrown on her.]
Q: You know what? Let's get off this set before they decide to do anything else to us.
B: What else are they gonna do? More pies? Slime?
Q: Well, I don't know these people that well [gets slimed] But they tend to go overboard.
B: Geez Quincy, I thought you were smarter than that.
Q: Me too.
B: I mean, how hard is it to go thirty seconds without saying "I don't know"? [gets slimed]
Q: Apparently VERY.
B: Well, I only saw three buckets back there, so that's good news for one of us.
Q: Right. They can't slime both of us at the same time. [They both get slimed.]
B: You ready to end this?
Q: Gladly.
B: This has been a Pie [gets pied]
Q: This has been a Pie In The Face [gets pied]
B&Q: [together] This has been
a Pie In The Face Production! [They each pie themselves as the scene ends.]