BIKINI PIE FIGHT

[BRITTANY and QUINCY are both wearing bikinis.]

BRITTANY: So Quincy, what's the title of this last skit?

QUINCY: [looking at piece of paper] "Bikini Pie Fight."

B: Aw c'mon, enough is enough! I have my standards, you know.

Q: My feelings exactly. This isn't something I want my name associated with.

B: Besides, they can't MAKE us do anything!

Q: Right! United front!

B: United front! I'll tell the producer right now. [She exits.]

[After a few seconds, BRITTANY returns holding a pie.]

Q: Um, Brittany… Where'd you get that?

B: The producer gave it to me. Said I could do whatever I want with it. [She eyeballs QUINCY with an evil grin.]

Q: Now hang on… What happened to a "united front"?

B: [thinks for a second] You're right. I couldn't do that to my best friend. [She puts her arm around her.]

Q: Well thank you, I'm glad you feel that… [BRITTANY pies her.] Way.

B: I'm sorry Quincy, that was just WAY too funny. You understand.

Q: [clearing herself] Of course. Completely. Oh Brittany? [BRITTANY turns back and gets pied.]

Q: Now THAT was funny.

B: You want funny? I'll show you funny! [pies her]

Q: Not bad… but allow me to retort! [pies her]

[Scene turns into an all-out pie fight, with BRITTANY and QUINCY exchanging many pies. They can improvise lines of dialogue between hits.]

B: I think the producer knows us too well.

Q: Yep. I just hope there's still hot water left in the showers… [gets watered]

B: Hey, not a bad idea! [throws out her hands] Water! [Buckets of water are thrown on her.]

Q: You know what? Let's get off this set before they decide to do anything else to us.

B: What else are they gonna do? More pies? Slime?

Q: Well, I don't know these people that well… [gets slimed] But they tend to go overboard.

B: Geez Quincy, I thought you were smarter than that.

Q: Me too.

B: I mean, how hard is it to go thirty seconds without saying "I don't know"? [gets slimed]

Q: Apparently VERY.

B: Well, I only saw three buckets back there, so that's good news for one of us.

Q: Right. They can't slime both of us at the same time. [They both get slimed.]

B: You ready to end this?

Q: Gladly.

B: This has been a Pie… [gets pied]

Q: This has been a Pie In The Face… [gets pied]

B&Q: [together] This has been a Pie In The Face Production! [They each pie themselves as the scene ends.]