PHOTOGRAPHER: Thanks again for doing this shoot! I'm sure it'll be a lot of fun for you.

MODEL: No problem, but I'm still not sure what this "slapstick comedy" involves, exactly…

P: Well, it's physical comedy, basically. Like the Three Stooges.

M: The Three Stooges? I hate those guys! Aren't they the ones who are always poking each other in the eyes and hitting each other on the head? I'm not getting injured on this shoot!

P: [taken aback] No, of course not… We could do some skits with pratfalls…

M: Pratfalls?

P: Falling down in a funny fashion.

M: No way! Falling down hurts! What else you got?

P: Um… We could do some water gags. You could fall into a swimming pool, or we could throw buckets of water at you from off-screen…

M: Have you BEEN outside lately? It's not summer anymore! And it's WAY too cold for me to be getting all wet! Anything else?

P: [sighs] Well, I did bring a bunch of pies…

M: Mmmm! What kind?

P: Well, some chocolate cream, some lemon meringue…

M: That sounds great! So what are you waiting for? Give me a pie! [gets pied]

M: [sputtering] HEY! Why did that happen?

P: Well, I TOLD you this was a slapstick shoot. You have to be careful what you say.

M: But it's not like I said, "Hit me in the face with a pie!" [gets it again]

P: Well now you did! Remember, this is slapstick comedy… And any excuse we can use to hit you with a pie, we will. For instance, if you wanted to clean off with this towel, how would you ask me for it?

M: Let me have it! [gets pied] No, the towel! Give it to me! [and yet again]

P: See? You're a natural at this!

M: Great… So when do I hit YOU with a pie?

P: Well, you need to ask for one first.

M: Fine. I want a pie! Do you hear me? I want… [gets pied]… a pie. [slowly wipes off] Nice. So doesn't this get pretty old pretty fast?

P: Well, that's why you do variations. For instance, what if you hit yourself with a pie? Wouldn't that be funny?

M: Hmmm… I'm not sure, I'll try… [hits herself] Yeah, I guess that's KINDA funny.

P: You're not doing it right though. Proper technique makes all the difference. [comes behind MODEL and "helps" her pie herself] See? Much funnier.

M: I guess. It'd be a lot more realistic if you used a real pie though. [gets pied with a real one]

P: Yeah, you're right! That was much better.

M: You could also try a chocolate one. [gets pied with a chocolate one, of course]

P: Right again!

M: Or what if you hit me with TWO pies? Wouldn't THAT be twice as funny? [gets pied twice]

P: Yep, you're definitely gonna work out great.

M: Fantastic. Any chance of this skit ending soon?

P: Sure. You just need to give me one last slapstick "zinger" and then we pie sandwich you for the big finale.

M: Okay, how about… Slapstick comedy… Strong enough for a man… [gets pied] But MADE for a woman.

P: That'll work.

M: My pleasure.